Amuck in America
by demonesszen
Summary: The characters of 'Fire Emblem: Rekka no Ken' are loose in the U. S. A.! God, help us all.....
1. Prologue

-----

-----------

-----------------

**NOTE**: Well…since I've started converting 'Fire Emblem Idol', I decided to convert this one as well. I think this is probably my favorite piece of FE work I've done, and I hope that those of you that weren't around when this was first up will enjoy it. If you'd rather read the original script form, go to the website in my profile. And who knows? With it up again, I might decide to continue it. Well, here's the prologue…..

-----

------------

------------------

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything in this story except myself. And the little voices in my head say I don't even own that.

----

----------

_Arianna__ had been up all last night planning the next day's attack. It was now only an hour until battle time, and she was attempting to explain her tactics to her group. Unfortunately, it was not going well….._

Eliwood's Elite are all sitting on stools facing a big dry erase board on which Arianna is drawing O's and X's.

"Okay, now if Sain goes here," Arianna says, drawing an O, "and Lucius goes here," she draws an X, "then we should-" She breaks off when Sain raises his hand. "Yes?" shesays to him, a bit irritated.

"Can I be an X?" he asks, and Arianna twitches.

"No! You're an O." she snaps back. "Now, as I was saying-"

"Can _moi_ pretty please be an X?" Serra interrupts. "O's are _so _four days ago."

"NO! You're both O's! Now listen-" Arianna turns back around to find Eliwood drawing on her board.

"Look! I drew a cat!" he announces, gesturing to some kind of deformed green blob he has drawn.

"It's Giggles!" Kent exclaims. (A/N: From FEI)

"Looks more like a bench." Lyn comments, blandly.

"Are any of you going to pay attention?" Arianna angrily demands.

"Nope." Nino answers, smiling innocently.

"**ARGH!** " Arianna vents and scribbles all over the board in ire. Eliwood stares at the scribble.

"What's _that_ supposed to be?"

"I think that one's Serra." Hector says snidely and the cleric retaliates with a staff blow to his head.

"FINE! You can all just go DIE for all I care!" Arianna screams, having had _enough_.

* * *

_**Eleven or so hours later…..**_

**__**

Everyone's dead.

The enemy is laughing hysterically.

"I wasn't serious!" cries Arianna, quickly restarting the chapter. All the characters climb groggily back to their feet.

"Whoah, I must have fallen asleep. What did I miss?" Hector yawns, rubbing what he thinks is sleep sandout of his eyes, but is actually dried, crusted blood.

"Now will you all listen to me?" the exhausted tactician asks. Wil looks around.

"Look! Apples!" he yells, pointing at a nearby tree.

"MINE! MINE! I SAW THEM FIRST!" Lowen screams rabidly and runs SMACK into the tree trunk.

"I doubt you can see anything with that hair." Erk remarks.

"AHAHAHA! They're all mine!" Wil laughs, using Lowen as a stair to boost himself into the tree. He climbs up to find—ALL THE APPLES ARE GONE!

"_BUUUURRRRP_." goes Fiora's pegasus.

"Bad Ms. Squiggles! Shame on you!" Fiora scolds her pig of a pegasus.

"**_AHHHHHHHH!_**_ SOMEBODY LISTEN TO ME_!" Arianna screeches, finally having snapped. Canas pats her soothingly on the back and says in a comforting voice-

"Now, now Arianna. Calm down. Do you have an attention disorder you need to tell us about?"

"That's it. I've had it." Arianna hisses in a dangerously quiet voice. "I sacrifice time of my life to come into this world and help you guys, and this is how you repay me. Well, no more! I'll show you how it feels to have to put up with freaks from some other world!" Suddenly a big, gun-looking thing appears from nowhere and Arianna aims it at the group. Sadly, Priscilla is the only one paying attention to their recently insanified tactician.

"Um, guys? I think we're in trouble." she tries to warn her comrades, but they are caught up in different issues.

"COUGH THEM UP!" orders Wil, hitting Ms. Squiggles on the back, "NOW!"

"GET AWAY FROM HER!" Fiora tries to protect her steed from the apple-deprived archer.

"FIRE! " Arianna screams.

_**ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTTTTTT!**_

_**Fizzle fizzle!**_

_**BING!**_

The smoke from the blast clears to reveal the Elite blinking in awe at the tall buildings, noisy cars, and big crowds of people that now surround them.

"Everyone, welcome to my world! Welcome to-" Arianna pauses for dramatic effect.

_DUN DUN DAAAAAAA!_

"AMERICA!"

Blinkity blinkity blink blink goes Eliwood's Elite.

**LONG PAUSE**

Then,

"WOOOHOOOO!" cheers the group raucously. Then they all run off to find fun and adventure, leaving a very disappointed tactician girl behind.

"Well, that was not the effect I was going for." Arianna sighs, frowning at what catastrophes she might have just created.

----

----------

----------------

Arianna: How's that for a start?

Lyn: I'm scared already.

Kent: Where'd Giggles get to? Lady Lyndis, I can't find Giggles!

Lyn: Sometimes, I think he loves the stuffed cat more than me.

Kent: Don't worry, Lady Lyndis. Only a little bit more than you.

Lyn: WHAT?

Kent: He…he…..

Arianna: Please Review if you want me to continue! –wink-

-----

----------

-----------

---------------------

---------------------------


	2. New York City

* * *

------ 

------------

-------------------

-------------------------

**NOTE**: Doo doo doo! It's part two! As tempting as it is, please don't touch any of the characters while they're busy in this story. There will be plenty of time afterwards for touching and autograph signing. And to answer a question, no, I don't think the characters are all really this insane. It'd just be so very funny if they were.

-----

-----------

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything. I don't even own the computer I'm typing this on. It's my parent's.

------

-----------

* * *

-: **In New York City** :- 

_Farina is walking down a random street….._

"There's got to be someone who needs my fighting skills." she says to herself. She walks up to a business man who is carrying a briefcase and talking on a cell phone. "Hello, sir. I would like to offer you my services for just-"

"I'm married!" the man cuts her off and keeps walking right past her.

"Okay…..not sure what that has to do with hiring a Pegasus Knight…" Farina mutters, already beginning to find the people of this world a bit odd. She walks over to the next man who just happens to be a police officer. "Hello sir, I'd like to offer you my services for just twenty-thousand-

"You're under arrest for prostitution!" he yells and handcuffs her.

"What?" she demands, her jaw dropping, "I was just-" she tries toexplainbut the man gags her.

"You have the right to remain silent." he tells her as he shoves her in a cop car.

"Mmmph!" is all poor Farina can reply.

--

-------

_Meanwhile, Rath and Nils are walking around……_

"Why do _you_ have to be my babysitter?" Nils is asking rudely.

"…"

"You're boring. You don't talk." Nils tells Rath, stating the obvious.

"…"

Nils suddenly spots a large building with kids all around it. "Lets go in there!" he says and drags Rath with him inside. Once in the door, they see that a lot of the kids are holding books. Looking at a banner, Nils tries to pronounce a foreign word. "El-e-men-ta-ry school. What's that, Rath?" the boy asks.

"…"

"What are you doing, young man?" says a voice and the two turn to find a teacher advancing on them with much anger. "Get to class right away!"

"Huh?" is all the baffled Nils can think to say.

"And what are those clothes you're wearing? It's not Halloween! You're going to the principal's office!" she screeches and drags the poor boy off.

"Ahhh! Help me, Rath!" Nils cries as he's pulled into a severe looking room.

"……" Rath says and gives a rare, small smile. His happiness at losing the boy is quickly shattered when a teacher pokes her head out of a kindergarten class. Seeing Rath, she jumps to conclusions.

"Oh! You must be the class visitor!" she exclaims. Rath just stares at her. He goes, against his better judgment, when the teacher tugs at his arm and brings him into the room. There are exactly twenty-five little kids sitting in a circle in small chairs. "Class, this is our visitor today! His name is..." the teacher looks to the nomad.

"……..Rath" he says after a long, awkward pause.

"Mr. Rath! Say hello, class!"

"Hello, Mr. Rath!" the children say cheerfully.

"……"

"Now you be good!" the teacher tells them as she takes a pack of cigarettes out of her pocket, "I have to go to a very important meeting. " And with that the teacher walks out of the room, leaving Rath with the kids.

"Heeheeheehee…." they giggle mischievously, already getting out of their seats.

"……." Rath sighs and sweatdrops.

-----

----------

_Sain is in a random club._

He walks up to some ladies sitting at the bar. "Hello, lovely ladies!" he greets them in his usual flirtatious manner, "Might you join this humble knight of Caelin for a drink?"

"Eeeek! Scary man!" the women cry out and begin digging in their purses for their cans of pepper spray.

"Hm? I assure you I mean no harm." Sain says, confused by their reactions. '_The women of this world really are quite strange_!' he thinks. "I just saw your striking beauty and-"

"Stop sexually harassing us!" one of them screams. As Sain stares in befuddlement, another one runs to a cop standing by the bar

"Help! That man is harassing us!" the lady says, pointing at the hapless cavalier.

"I only wanted to-" Sain attempts, but the cop is already slapping handcuffs on him.

"That's enough drinks for you. I think a night in a cell will do you some good." the police officer says and drags him outside to his car. Sain is very upset.

"But I didn't even _get_ a drink!"

---

---------

_Guy is standing at a street corner, looking lost._

"Let's see…." he mumbles to himself, thinking hard, "To get to the Statue of Liberty, I have to ride in something called a cab. And to get this "cab" to stop, I have to wave at it." A cab drives by. "There's one!" Guy says and waves his arms wildly at it. The cab driver just gives him a scared look and drives away. It could've been the way he was waving his arms, it could've been his clothing, or it even could've been the sword Guy had strapped to his side. Whatever the reason, Guy was going to have a lot of trouble getting a ride.

--------

----------

_Back in the classroom_….

The kids have formed a chain around Rath and are spinning in a circle while singing.

"….."

"Happiness runs in a circular motion, love is a little boat upon the sea. Everyone is a part of everything, anyways. You can be happy if you let yourself be! Pa papa pa pa papapa papapa pa papapapa papapapa. Pa papapa pa-"

"….." Rath is beginning to turn a sickly shade of light green.

-----

----------

_At the jail.__ Sain is thrown in a cell next to Farina's._

"Sain?" Farina asks, happy to see a familiar face, even if it's his.

"Oh, fair maiden Farina!" Sain says, grabbing her hand. "How could anyone be so cruel as to suspect you of treachery and lock you in this dark dungeon?"

"Uhh….they thought I was a prostitute." Farina explains, removing her hand from his grasp. After all, she has no idea where that hand could have been! "What happened to you?"

"I only wished to have a drink with some lovely ladies and they accused me of harassment!" Sain huffed.

"Eh, don't worry. It's not so bad here. Meet some of my new friends." Farina replies, and she points to a large woman with a mohawk. "This is Big Bella-" she points at a guy with a tattoo that says '_My Mama Didn't Love Me'_ "-and this is Huge Hugh."

"Um, nice to meet you." Sain says hesitantly.

"Ugga." Big Bella says. Huge Hugh just grunts.

"We're making plans to bust out. Wanna help?" Farina asks him. Sain thinks for a moment, than shrugs.

"Eh, sure. Why not."

----

-------

_Guy has finally managed to get a cab to stop_….

"Hi, um, I want to go to the Statue of Liberty." Guy tells the driver.

"Sta-too o' Lib-er-y?" repeats the driver in broken English.

"Uh, no. Statue of Liberty." Guy corrects him.

"Dat be what I say."

"Right. Just take me there." Guy says, getting in the cab. As soon as he's in it pulls sharply onto the road and goes a hundred miles per hour, dodging back and forth around cars.

"I think I'm about to- BLAAAAAAAH!" Guy throws up all over the front of the cab.

"AHH! The win' shield is covered in vomit!" the driver complains, distressed.

"Whoops. Sorry about that." Guy apologizes.

" AHHHH!" the driver screams and swerves wildly, unable to see where he's going. He crashes into a fire hydrant and the hydrant explodes, becoming a geyser of water. Guy climbs out of the banged-up vehicle.

"Well, don't expect payment for _that!_" Guy says. The cab driver is too dazed to reply.

-----

----------

_Lucius__ is walking down a dark alleyway with a bunch of shopping bags._

"Oh my, I seem to be lost." he says, stopping and looking around. Some gangsters suddenly appear.

"Yo, blonde chick!" one of them says to Lucius. He probably would have been offended, but he did not understand the man's slang.

"Chick? I am certainly not a baby chicken." Lucius says, confused.

"Hehe, howz 'bout we see whatcha got in dem bags?" another gangster says, reaching for them. This Lucius understands. He hugs the bags close.

"MINE!" Lucius shouts. Raven appears out of the alley.

"What's going on here?" he demands. One of the gangsters waves to him.

"Yo, Rave-e-o!"

" Lord Raymond? You know them?" Lucius asks, shocked.

"Hey Lucius!" Raven greets him, then turns to the gang members. "This is my friend, yo. Leave him alone, dawgs."

"Whatever you say, boss." they consent.

"Who da man?" Raven asks.

"You da man!" the gangsters shout back.

"Who _da_ man?"

"You _da_ man!"

" WHO DA MAN?"

"YOU DA MAN!"

Lucius takes this time to back away slowly and then run off.

----

---------

_In the principal's office_.

Nils is sitting in front of the principal's desk in a spinny chair.

"What is the meaning of this, young man?" the principal demands.

"The meaning of what?" Nils asks.

"Of, uh , whatever you were sent here for."

"I dunno." Nils answers and then starts to spin the chair.

"Stop that!" the principal scolds.

"Whee!" Nils says, not stopping.

"Sir?" says a secretary who has just walked in the room. The principal doesn't notice her and grabs Nils' chair.

"STOP SPINNING!" he shouts right in the boy's face.

"Um, sir." the secretary interrupts, tentatively. "You're needed in Kindergarten class A3 on floor four."

"You stay right here, young man, until I get back!" the principal orders.

"I will-" Nils begins to say, but the man has already left.

" -not." Nils finishes. "Eh. Oh well." He rolls the chair out of the office and through the front doors of the school. He then rolls it down the street and to the designated meeting point where Lucius, Raven, Farina, Guy, and Sain are already waiting.

"Hey guys!" he greets them happily as he rolls up.

"Hey Nils!" Farina says back, "Where's Rath?" Nils freezes.

"Oops."

-------

-----------

_In the kindergarten room._

Rath is taped to a chair along with various stuffed animals and colored paper. The kids are drawing on walls, gluing desks together, and throwing kids out the window.

(A/N: Remember the secretary said floor _4_?)

The principal walks in angrily. "WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?" Rath looks hopeful of rescue.

"Uh, recess?" says one little boy.

"Oh. Carry on." the principal says and leaves. The chaos continues.

"…." A single tear slowly makes its way down Rath's face.

------

---------

"Uhh, he said he'd come later." Nils lies to the others.

"Okay. Well, we better leave now." Farina tells him.

"Why?"

"Because-" Sain speaks up, "-apparently bashing a hole in the prison wall and letting hundreds of criminals loose in the city is frowned upon in this world."

"Oh. Let's go, then." Nils agrees and smiles.

--------

-------------

-------------------

Arianna: Hello! Wow, first day and already two people went to jail. By the way, that song the little demonic children were singing is a real song. I had to sing it in Music class in 3rd grade. One of those things that you never forget, ya know?

Erk: Like seeing Bartre and Karla kissing. –shudders-

Raven: -hits head on wall- Bad image! Bad image!

Arianna: Also, sorry to any Rath fans! I promise he shall be rescued! Eventually….

Rath: …I hate you….

Arianna: Eh heh….. Thank you to all who reviewed and all who are going to review! Ta ta! I'm going to go play Final Fantasy VII!

Lucius: -gasp- You're not going to play Fire Emblem? TRAITOR!

Arianna: Byebye!

--------

-------------


	3. One Jaffy, Two Jaffy

-----------------------

-----------

------

---

-

Arianna: Fear not, minions of evil! I have returned from the light world! Muhahahahaha!

Latisha: Um, what are you talking about?

Arianna: Oops. Wrong place. I meant, hi faithful readers!

Eliwood: I told you not to eat the giant chocolate bar, but did you listen to me? _No._ No one ever does.

Latisha: Why would anyone listen to an idiot?

Erk: I don't know. Why _do_ people listen to you, Latisha?

Latisha: -grabs big mallet-

Eliwood: I dun get it.

Arianna: Ummm…on with chapter!

------------------------------------

DISCLAIMER: I don't own it! Now stop making me feel bad about it! -bursts into tears-

---------------------------------

-: Pennsylvania :-

Pent, Louise, and Nils are at the Liberty Bell. Nils hits the bell with his flute and it dings loudly.

"DING! It's an E-flat!" he announces. Pent freaks out.

"NILS! You put a crack in it!"

"It was already there, dear." Louise tells him. Pent scratches his head.

"Oh. Well, why doesn't anyone fix it?"

"I don't know. Maybe they like it broken." she suggests.

"Well, that's silly. I'll fix it." Pent says and gets out a Hammerne staff. He uses it on the Liberty Bell and, with a glow, the bell is now fixed. Tourists stare in awe. "There." Pent puts his staff away, satisfied. Suddenly a tourist runs up to him.

"Excuse me, can you fix these?" he asks, holding up a pair of broken glasses.

"Fix this first!" yells another tourist, showing a torn shirt.

"Can you fix this?" a lady asks, holding her whining and crying child up. Pent stares at them and backs up slowly.

"Oh no….."

-------------------------------------

Heath, Fiora, and Bartre are at the Pittsburgh Zoo. Heath is looking at the reptiles.

"Hyperion's cooler then any of them." he comments smugly. Fiora is looking at the zebras.

"Maybe Ms. Squiggles long lost cousins?" she proposes, as the zebras and her pegasus do share a certain horsie characteristic. Bartre is looking at the gorillas. He gives a cry of joy.

"Brother! I found you!" he tries to hug his long-lost brother, but instead just bangs his head into the metal bars of the cage. The gorilla screams loud and shakes his fist at Bartre. The ax man seems to understand this language, perhaps better than his own. "Uh, no. I still don't have the money to pay you back for the five-hundred gold you loaned me." Bartre sheepishly tells the gorilla. Fiora stares at the pair, understandably freaked out.

"Makes sense, I guess." Heath reasons, "Bar-tree. Monkeys swing on bars and climb trees."

"Hey! Why are those animals out of their cages?" comes a sudden shout and Fiora, Heath, and Bartre turn to see a zookeeper rushing towards them. "Help needed in sector 7!" he shouts into his walkie-talkie, "Three animals have escaped from their cages!"

"Wait, we can explain!" Heath protests.

"Three?" Fiora repeats, confused. Lots of zookeepers appear and swarm in on the trio.

"Get back in there!" One of them orders and sticks Hyperion in with the Komodo dragons.

(A/N: Don't ask me how they thought Hyperion looked like one of them.)

Heath cries out "Wait! NO! HYPERION!" but it is too late. Hyperion makes a lunch of one of the Komodo dragons. The other Komodo dragons back away in horror.

"Rarrrg!" they growl, which I believe roughly translated is "_AHH! CANNIBAL!"_ The zookeepers have now become quite alarmed.

"We got ourselves a code reddish-orange. I repeat, a code reddish-orange. Cannibalism in the dragons!"

Another zookeeper takes a hold of Ms. Squiggle. "C'mon horsie!" she says and pushes Ms. Squiggles in with the Zebras.

"MS. SQUIGGLES!" Fiora screams, trying to get to her steed.

"Neigh?" the pegasus inquires of her new companions, which I think means '_Hi?_'

"Neiiigh." a zebra answers, and he has said '_Yo_ _man. Peace out._'

"Neigh. Neigh neigh." Ms. Squiggles gives an indignant snort. '_Figures._ _Hippie zebras.'_

"Back in your cage!" says yet another zookeeper, pushing Bartre in with the gorilla from before.

"WAIT! I'm _HUMAN_!" Bartre tells him, but the man of the zoo just rolls his eyes.

"Suuure." he replies sardonically.

(A/N: How else does he think he'd be talking?)

Now stuck in a cage with a gorilla he owes money to, Bartre looks nervously at his companion. "Eh he. Hey, bro." The gorilla beats his chest and lets out a fierce scream.

"NO! No noogie!" Bartre screams back, climbing a tree and hiding in the many branches.

"HEY! GIVE US HYPERION AND MS. SQUIGGLES, um…and I _guess_ Bartre, BACK!" Heath demands, but all he gets for his efforts is a gun held to his head.

"You're under arrest for attempted animal kidnapping!" the security guard informs him.

"AH! No _way _am I going to jail!" Fiora protests and whistles for Ms. Squiggles. Inside the zebra cage, the pegasus is in deep conversation with her brethren.

"Neigh, neighy neigh neigh?" she is asking. '_So, if I become one with my inner self, it will lead to peace of mind and self acceptance?_'

"Neeeeiggh." the zebras reply. '_Right on, duuuudette_.'

"MS. SQUIGGLES! GET YOUR HORSIE REAR-END OVER HERE NOW!" Fiora shrieks as the security guards close in on her.

"Neigh neigh." Ms. Squiggles reluctantly says. '_See you later, guys. The Woman calls me.'_

"Neeeigh." they protest. '_Dude, you shouldn't let The Woman rule you.'_

"Neigh neigh neighhh." she explains. '_Sorry dudeos, she's got the food. Toodles!'_ And with that she flies out of the cage. Fiora jumps on her back and they speed away.

"Neeeeeigggggh!" the zebras call after her. '_Fly to the sun, girl!'_

"HYPERION!" Heath screams and the wyvern slurps a Komodo dragon tail the rest of the way into his mouth and swallows. "Get over here! And grab Bartre!" Hyperion flies out of the cage and into the gorilla one.

"Hoo hoo haa haa?" Bartre says as he jumps around on a tree branch. Hyperion snatches him up in his talons and flies down. Heath jumps on his back.

"Let's go, Hyperion!" Heath cries out as soon as he's on. The wyvern flies off in the direction Ms. Squiggles took.

"Shoot 'em down!" a zookeeper screams and the others quickly follow his order, shooting tranquilizer darts at Hyperion. One manages to penetrate the thick scales.

"Grrrr…….." Hyperion growls drowsily. '_I'm getting very….sleepy….zzzzzzz….._' He slowly flies lower and lower.

"MAYDAY! MAYDAY! GOING DOWN!" Heath screams, panicking.

"I want a banana." Bartre complains.

--------------------------------------------

-: Idaho :-

Lowen is at the potato fields.

"Pooootatoooooes……." he says, drooling. A farmer suddenly appears.

"Yup. We got white potatoes, green potatoes, hard potatoes, soft potatoes……"

_Three Hours Later….._

"Big potatoes, small potatoes, bumpy potatoes, smooth potatoes…."

"SNORE" Lowen snores loudly, for even he isn't _THAT_ interested in potatoes.

--------------------------------------

-: Florida :-

Jaffar, Nino, Florina, Hector, Lyn, Kent, Eliwood, and Ninian are at Disney World.

"Let's go on 'It's A Small World', Jaffar!" Nino says, hopping up and down and pointing excitedly.

"…" Jaffar looks at said ride with something close to dread.

"Um, Ninian, would you want to go on a ride with me?" Eliwood asks shyly.

"Sure, what ride?" she answers cheerfully.

"You pick."

"Any ride you pick is fine by me." she says with a smile.

"Okay then." Eliwood smiles widely. "Tower Of Terror." Ninian's smile drops off her face.

"Any ride but that….."

"C'mon. It'll be fun." Eliwood insists and drags her off against her will. Meanwhile Lyn is eating a chocolate Mickey ice cream bar. She tugs on Kent's sleeve with her free hand.

"Where do you wanna go, Kent? Huh, huh, huh?" she asks, the sugar making her prone to repeating words multiple times.

"How about 'The Haunted Mansion'?" Kent suggests, looking at the nearby ride.

"Okay. But if I get scared, I get to hold your hand." she agrees, grinning. Kent sweat-drops but they head off. Now Hector and Florina are the only two left.

"So where you wanna go, Florina?" Hector asks, trying to read a map but getting a bit confused. Too bad he doesn't realize it's for a different park.

"Ummmm….uh…I don't know…anywhere you want…." Florina mumbles.

"Let's go on Space Mountain!" Hector decides, as that is the only ride he knows by name. He crumples up the map and throws it on the ground to a nearby park-worker's frustration.

"Oh, um…alright…." Florina agrees with some reluctance as the words 'space' and 'mountain' don't make it sound like a safe ride. A little kid walking by spots Huey and gasps.

"Lookie, Mom!" she cries out, pointing, "It's a unicorn!"

"Don't be silly, Molly. Unicorns don't exist." her mom replies, "It's just a flying horse."

(A/N: Because those are so common and unicorns aren't. –sweatdrop-)

-----------------------------------------------

_At 'It's_ _A Small World'_

Nino and Jaffar are riding along when the boat suddenly stops. An announcement is issued to the anxious riders.

"We are experiencing technical difficulties. Please remain seated. We should be running again shortly. Only about…forty minutes."

"Oh, goodie!" Nino cries joyfully as a collective groan is heard throughout the ride from the other passengers. "That means we get to spend more time looking at all the dollies!" Jaffar's eyes widen and he looks rather horrified.

"_It's a world of laughter, a world of tears. It's a world of hopes, and a world of fears. There's so much that we share that it's time we're aware it's a small world after all!" _sing the dolls surrounding them.

Jaffar twitches.

"_There is just one moon, and one golden sun! And a smile means, friendship to everyone! Though the mountains divide, and the oceans are wide, it's a small world after all!_"

"Isn't it beautiful, Jaffar?" Nino asks, looking over at her companion. She is startled to see him twitching violently. "Jaffar?" she repeats, concerned. He puts a hand on his killing edge. "JAFFAR!" Nino screams as she realizes what he's about to do.

"_It's a small world after all! It's a small world after all! It's a small world after all! It's a small, small-"_

"GAAAAAAAAH!" Jaffar goes ballistic and beheads all the dolls.

"Worrlllld……zzzt…" The dolls fall over and there's a shocked silence.

SHOCKED SILENCE

"_AHHHHH!_" the tourists scream and the whole place spirals into complete chaos. People jump out of boats and the beheaded dolls send electric waves into the water which electrocute all who are trying to swim for it. Lots of screams echo around the tunnel.

"Um…I think we better get out of here, Jaffar." Nino says.

"…" Jaffar picks up Nino and runs off.

------------------------------------------

_At Tower_ _Of Terror_

Ninian is visibly shaking.

"Come on, Ninian." Eliwood is trying to persuade her. "Just get in the elevator."

"NO!" Ninian screams back, "I know what this thing does! It takes you up and then just _drops_ you!"

"Uh, that's kind of the point." Eliwood deadpans.

"Miss, are you getting on or not?" the ride worker, dressed as a hotel person, asks. People in line are starting to get angry with the hold up.

"NO!" Ninian screams.

"YES!" Eliwood drags her in and straps her to a seat. Ninian goes hysterical and squirms.

"NOOOOOO!" she screeches in a chillingly horrible way. A shiver goes through the line. The ride guy battles with his morals and decides to let the obviously terrified girl be forcibly put on the ride. After all, he really needs his job.

"Ummm…right. Well, anyways, enjoy your ride." he says and quickly shuts the doors to the elevator.

"NOOOOO!" Ninian screams again.

"Ninian, people are staring." Eliwood mumbles, turning slightly red in the cheeks.

"NOOOOO!"

The little girl from before notices Ninian's odd clothing and pokes her arm. "Are you a Disney Princess?"

"Don't be silly, Molly." her mom says, pulling her daughter away from the crazy, screaming lady. "She's just a dancer from some far away land called Elibe."

Eliwood looks properly shocked. Ninian is too distracted to notice what the mom said.

"NOOOOO!"

The car comes to top of the building and starts moving forward. A voice comes from over their heads.

"Welcome to the Twilight Zone."

"NOOOOO!" Ninian continues to scream.

"Shhhh!" hush the other riders.

"NOOOOO!"

"Blah blah blah," the voice continues, unaware of the girl freaking out, "Another dimension blah blah." Eliwood looks into the eye thing.

"I can see myself!" he exclaims and waves. "Hi self!"

The car abruptly stops. Eliwood stares at the stone wall.

"Flux."

"NOOOOO-"

Car drops.

"OOOOOoooooooooooooooooo…………"

Car shoots back up.

"……………ooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOO!"

"EEEEK!" Eliwood screams like a girl. This continues for about four times. Finally the ride comes to stop at a floor and the overhead voice returns.

"You have safely returned from the Twilight Zone."

"Whooo." Eliwood exhales. "That was scary, huh, Ninian?"

Silence.

"Ninian?"

Eliwood looks over to see a ghostly white Ninian slowly sink to the floor.

-------------------------------------------

At Haunted Mansion

_Lyn and Kent are in the moving cars. Lyn is huffing._

"_This isn't very scar-"_

"_BOO!" yells a spider._

"_Eeeek!" Lyn shrieks, hugging Kent_ _tightly. Kent_ _coughs._

"_Can't breathe!" he gasps._

"_BOO!" yells a ghost._

"_EEEEK!" Lyn hugs Kent_ _tighter and the knight turns blue from lack of oxygen. _

"_BOO!" yells a severed head._

"_EEEK!" Lyn turns to Kent_ _to find he has died from lack of air and is now a ghost._

"_BOO!" Ghost Kent_ _yells._

"_EEEEEEEEEEEEEK!"_

"AHHHHHHHHHH!" Lyn wakes up and her scream becomes more of a startled shout.

"Lady Lyndis, calm down!" Kent exclaims, alarmed.

"Wha-what happened?" Lyn asks while looking around frantically.

"We had to stand in line so long you fell asleep." Kent explains, still looking rather perturbed.

"Ohhh…ummm…I don't think I want to go on this ride anymore." Lyn says, pulling him out of line. "I might get scared and hug you to death." Kent stares at her in a baffled sort of way but goes along with it.

"Whatever you say, Lady Lyndis."

-----------------------------------------------

_At Space_ _Mountain_

Hector is staring at the ceiling watching asteroids fly around.

"Ummm…Lord Hector? This isn't in the dark, is it?" Florina asks timidly, nervous because it's already rather dark in line.

"Ya, why?" Hector answers and Florina's eyes widen.

"Oh no."

"What?"

"Um..nothing."

"Are you _sure _you don't want to sit in front?" Hector asks as they climb into their rocket-shaped car. "You might not be able to see anything sitting behind me."

"Um, I'm sure." Florina answers, already looking a bit pale. She climbs in behind Hector and the car takes off.

"Woooohoooo!" Hector cheers as they start through the tunnel. Florina is turning green as the rocket goes up, up, up, up, up…..then back down backwards. Florina gives a short , startled scream.

"Eeeek!"

"What happened?" Hector demands, looking around but only seeing darkness.

"Um, I think your armor is too heavy, Lord Hector." Florina guesses. The rocket is now stuck.

In the dark.

_Back At Space_ _Mountain_ _Take-off Station_

"We have a code off-white." a ride-worker is yelling into his headset. "Rocket #13 did not make the hill. I repeat, did _not _make the hill."

Back inside the ride, Hector is bored and drumming his fingers on the side of the car.

"Lord Hector?" Florina says in a low, strained voice.

"Hm?"

"I'm afraid of the dark." she admits.

"Oh, well, it's okay. I'm here." Hector says with a comforting smile. Florina shakes her head.

"You don't understand. When I get scared, I throw up."

Hector becomes afraid. Hector becomes very, very afraid.

------------------------------------------------

_At Aladdin Magic Carpet Ride_

"Lets go on there, Jaffar!" Nino says, pointing. Jaffar, however, is busy looking at a guy in an Aladdin's Jaffar costume who's walking by.

"…" Jaffar comments.

"Look, Jaffar! It's Jaffar!" Nino says and laughs.

"…"

The guy in the Jaffar costume is just innocently strolling along when he feels a sharp thing touch the back of his neck. It's Jaffar with his killing edge.

"……imposter." Jaffar accuses and prepares to deal a deathly blow. The costumed guy screams and shoves him away.

"AH! GET BACK!" He points his fake staff at him. "BAM!"

Fizzle goes the staff.

"Oh yeah. It's fake." The imposter Jaffar remembers with an embarrassed smile.

"…"

"Bad Jaffar!" Nino scolds as she finally runs up to the two. "NO JAFFAR! NO KILLING DISNEY CHARACTERS! You'll scar the little kids for life!"

"…"

-------------

--------------

------------------

-------------------------------------------------

Oh no! Will Jaffar kill the Jaffar Imposter? Will Hector and Florina get off of Space Mountain before Florina vomits? What rides are Kent, Lyn, Eliwood, and Ninian going on next? Will Lowen ever escape the potato farmer? Where did Heath and Bartre land? Will I ever shut up? The answers to these questions and more in the next chapter of "Amuck In America"!

--------------------------------------------------

Arianna: Heehee! This was the _funnest_ chapter to write!

Jaffar: …..I hate you.

Arianna: NOOOOO! –sob-

Eliwood: GAH! I've heard enough "NOOOOO!'s" to last me a lifetime! I'm going to go find a woman who will say 'Yes' every once in awhile! Hey, Priscilla!

Priscilla: Yes?

Eliwood: New target.

Raven: NO! MY SISTER! STAY AWAY FROM HER!

Eliwood: Sister?

Lucius: Oh my Elimine, you didn't know that already? I told, like, everyone!

Raven: You WHAT?

Lucius: Whoops.

Arianna: I'm gonna get out of here before things get bloody. Please Review! Ta ta!

------------

-----------------

-------------------


End file.
